Ask MB

The Daughter In-Law!

 

We get a lot of questions from daughter in-law seeking help on how to convince their husband, in-laws and other family members for further studies, career or just plain do something with their life apart from being a homemaker.

Watch the video where I talk to daughter in-law’s, husband's & In-law’s on how to deal with
conflict, difference of opinion and power struggle regarding daughter in-law’s want to learn, grow & pursue what they love.

I am only sharing my opinion and thoughts on the topic. Kindly watch the entire video to
understand the bigger picture, context and my intention. Hope this helps you find more love,
peace and happiness in your family and personal life.

Share you thoughts or question in the comment box below the video.

Stay Alive, Stay Fearless!
Dream BIG, Stay Strong.

- Murtaza

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FULL VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
Hello! Welcome back to the life transformation blog.

Today we will talk about Daughters in law. We get a lot of questions from daughters in law;
questions like how do I convince my husband or my in laws to let me study, pursue my career or even tell them that I want to do something with my life.

Often there is a conflict between managing the household, kids and the family and moving out and doing something. I want to share with you what I think about this.

I'm first going to talk to the Daughter in law.

My question is, why do you want to pursue your education or career? My question is coming
from a place that I support you getting education, doing something you love every single day.

But I want you to figure out why you want to do it? Is it because you see someone and feel low about yourself? Is it because you have no other reason; you just want to do it? Or is it because you want to distract yourself and get out of a difficult situation that you are currently in?

Figure out your why. Is it because you feel a void in you and feel you can do so much more with your life? Or do you have a burning desire and passion to complete your education? Do you have an idea of a product or service that you want to offer to the marketplace that can help people live better lives?

These are fantastic reasons and you need to move forward with your dream. That will truly make you alive and Fearless.

How are you going to do it?

You need to communicate with the family. You already are in a situation; you are married and
have in laws, you even might have children. In any case, you have a reality around you which
you have to accept around you. You have to accept the people around you, accept the situation. You need to respect them and communicate it to them, inspire them to think and understand your perspective. Not with disrespect or tenacity, and not even getting upset if you don't get permission or support.

You're already in a family and situation; it's your reality which you need to accept.
The reason that since my life is miserable right now, a job or a business will make it fantastic,
doesn't work. You don't want to do it over hurting people or getting into conflict and cost you love, peace and happiness. The ultimate agenda is to be at peace, feel and spread the love and doing what you want to.

Appropriately communicate and inspire people to understand and support you.

Let's talk to the husbands.

What I want to tell you is make sure your wife is growing, learning and pursuing what she wants to. Don't shut off her pursuits, listen and be a pillar of support for her.
If your wife is not being happy, heard and support, she won't be able to be a good wife, mother and daughter in law. Every individual needs to grow and not suppress their abilities and desires.

Listen to your wife and be a bridge between her and your parents. For some daughters in law,
it's difficult to approach their in laws directly. You know your parents well and you understand
either parties better. You can talk, understand them better and you can communicate and
empower your wife to do the same.

Some wives do complain that our husbands are not interested, they are not willing to give me
freedom and let me tell you that is going to hurt you and your children in the long run.

In laws, now we come to you. I know your agenda is that your daughter in law takes care of your son, children and the house. If she goes out to pursue her education and career, she won't be responsible and she won't be able to take care of the family. That's a myth; it's a limiting belief. When she is pursuing her dream career or education, she's more likely to be an excellent daughter in law and a fantastic wife and a loving mother.

This is a new way of thinking, feeling and achieving. And 10 years ago, this wasn't the case.
Especially the mother in law would feel that I as a daughter in law never would think of doing
that. Agreed. I totally respect that. In this generation though, every individual needs to be fulfilled, needs to learn and grow and prove something to their own self.

So you need to come to a solution where all three are happy. It's all about love, peace and
happiness. If there's a conflict and either the in laws, husband and the daughter in law are not
happy, it doesn't work. Daughters in law are the center pillar of the family, they take care of
everything - they're juggling with kids on one hand, husbands on the other and in laws and
extended family to take care of along with the household. It's important that they get their space to grow, learn and when she comes back, I promise you she will bring more love, peace and happiness to the house, husband and children.

The matter is only about not seeing each other's perspective, stubbornness, carrying the past
which would create conflict and loss of love.

I hope this video helps you three understand each other. Whatever happens at the end of the
day, close it with more love, peace and happiness.

Stay Alive, Stay Fearless. Dream Big Stay Strong.

Stay tuned for the next video. Thank you!