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Self Love – If you can Love Yourself … you can love anyone.

 

Since it’s valentine’s week and love is in the air…apart from our romantic partner let’s love one more person…Love Yourself! 

This person who wants to love others as well as receive love from others and is sincere, hardworking and kind… but most often neglected, forgotten and taken for granted.

We spend so much time, energy and money to bring love, joy and happiness to our romantic partner or significant other… but sometimes forget to acknowledge the most important person without which life can seem pretty lifeless and boring.

Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela are few names who could not have done what they did without first falling in love with this one person.

This week's blog video is an excerpt from my signature program Alive & Fearless Intensive live in Cairo, Egypt and covers some serious stuff… I even used my native language (gujarati) just to add a little PUNCH : ) watch till the end for full value.

Share your thoughts in the comment box below the video.

-Murtaza

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FULL VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

Take your right hand, and give yourself a pat on the back. Say to yourself, ‘Well done!’

We often don’t give ourselves pat on the back. We are like, ‘Somebody, please appreciate me, thank me, I am working so hard; somebody please recognize me! I’m significant and I’m here…’

When nobody does that, you go like ‘I’m not going to do this anymore! I’m going to stop being nice because nobody gives me a pat on the back.’

I say, give yourself pat on the back. Say to yourself that you did a good job.

You think that’s something one should do?

Self love is the beginning of transformation. If you cannot love yourself, you cannot love anyone else.

If you don’t have love in you, you can’t give love out.

By law, if you cannot give love out, you cannot get anything back.

Very simple formula. Do you say, ‘I don’t give love to anybody. I’m expecting everybody to, though..’?

It doesn’t work like that.

When you love yourself, you believe in yourself enough, in your ability, skills that you will do, you can do. And if you fall, fail and cannot achieve, you don’t wait for anyone to tell you that, ‘I told you so.’

Instead say, ‘Who are you to tell me that I cannot do it?’

I am standing here in front of you, one of the reasons is this quality. I love myself more than anyone else. Do you know some people who go to the extreme and say they want to kiss themselves?  That’s a mindset.

To someone giving you negative hits, say, ‘You’re accusing me, abusing me? You think I am going to feel low about myself just because you said something about myself?’

I say come let’s give each other a hug. Because they are so full of abuse and negativity, passing around judgments on people, full of themselves. There are these kinds of people, and they release their negativity around people. And they judge, evaluate, tag, throw opinions around.

When people say these negativities out, 97% people accept it. They feel, ‘If 5 or 7 or 10 people are telling me something bad about myself, I’m sure something must be wrong with me.’ :/

Am I right?

Should you start believing that? Should you also tell yourself those things the people tell you? Imagine when a person who does not love himself and thinks that he is a good for nothing, useless person who knows nothing – not to sell, maintain business, relationships .. goes out and sells to the customer, how will he do it? He won’t be able to sell the order like a salesman; he might start begging for making a sale. And if the customer agrees, he will agree for pity and not for an excellent sales deal.

This is what self doubt and self esteem issues will do to you. Self love is of utmost importance. Self love is the reason I am standing here. I was told the same things when I completed my S.S.C. in Mumbai. When I was in this field, I said, human being and human development is very important. And I saw people in my family, friends, extended family, fighting over petty issues. And then there are people who don’t talk to each other for 5 years, 10 years over a small issue. I have seen sons and fathers not talking for 25 years. Because of what? Lack of self love! If you love yourself, you would forgive, you would forget. You would say you are more important than that petty issue or disagreement happened in life.

When I was in this situation and I saw people going crazy over such issues, I thought there has to be something beyond. There has to be something controlling the behavior. So I embarked on the journey to find that out. Because I saw people behaving and then regretting their own behavior. People are behaving and then crying. When I asked them ‘Why are you crying’, they would go, ‘I don’t know I lost control’. Then I would ask them, ‘Since you are regretting, can you do a self analysis? Find out the cause and change it yourself? So that next time when the situation comes again, you can control yourself’. They say, ‘I tried to do that but it’s not happening.’

So we understand that a human being behaves and regrets, over and over again. And after a point in time that regret also stops, it goes down, which turns it into a habit. The habit then becomes a character. This is who I am. Then the person defines himself with that.

My journey was to find that out. When I did my Psychology with a lot of other courses.. people kept telling me that this is not a career. Personal development is not an option. Keep it for Saturday and Sunday. I was 19 years of age and counseling couples who were 21 years old. They would doubt; telling me you are not even in their house. My point was that’s actually not the point. The point is bringing out everything on the table and discussing it and suddenly somebody gets an insight… It’s not rocket science; so this is the journey I want to go on and this is what I have to offer to the community. This is what we are offering – a product or service to the community to improve one’s life.