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How To Get More Appreciation, Love & Approval In Your Life


We all want appreciation, love and approval from parent, teachers, boss, managers, colleagues, friends, spouse and others. Sometime we get it, but most of the times when we don't get it, we feel unappreciated, unloved and used.

It’s natural to expect appreciation, love and approval, but at the same time important to not demand it in an unhealthy way.

Leave me a comment on how you give or get ALA in your life.

Stay Alive, Stay Fearless!
Dream BIG, Stay Strong.

- Murtaza

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Have you ever felt unappreciated, unloved and need approval?

If yes then we say that you are suffering from the ALA syndrome.. I'm kidding but I do mean Approval, Love and Appreciation.

You probably are getting into ways and means of getting those three with the wrong approach. In this video, I want to touch three myths of ALA, aka Approval Love and Appreciation and quickly go over 3 steps to get more of it.

Myth 1

If they do not say it, they do not appreciate and love me.

You might say my parents never said love you or never appreciated me. But does that mean they did not? Of course not!

Myth 2

I need to hear them say it.

I need to hear from them that 'I appreciate what you are doing or I love you or I approve of you'. Lot of people in this world are surviving and successful; they necessarily didn't have anyone come and tell them that ‘We approve of what you are saying. We love you so do it. We appreciate you and whatever you are doing’.

If they would have waited for these things to happen then they wouldn't have been successful.

If they are saying it, it's good.  But if they are not, don't get stuck on it.

Myth 3

If I think about what I want in life, my needs and desires then people will call me selfish and not give me ALA

Loving yourself, thinking about yourself and doing things for yourself, how is that selfish? Appreciating yourself on a job well done, doing things in a better way, achieving a success is actually recommended. 

If nobody does it for you, do it yourself - give yourself a pat on the back.


Let's get into healthy strategies to get more of it more often.

  1. Give it and you shall receive it

If somebody is not giving you ALA, you go do it.  You go give them appreciation; find the smallest thing about your spouse, parents, kids or boss.

  1. Don't crave for it

Do it, you might get it back.  But don't be stuck on it. When we start giving, we have in our mind that we should get back. Once you start giving Approval, Love and Appreciation positively, at one point you will start to see it come back to you.

The condition is don't expect it or be stuck on it.

  1. Focus on growing

People are not appreciating and if it builds up too much negativity, do this. Pat yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself. And go ahead and grow. Learn, excel and do what you love. Move forward and keep doing what you do best.

Don't worry about other people giving you or not giving appreciation. In my career, I have seen times when people have not approved.  People did not appreciate or loved me for what I was doing.  Well I was stubborn to go ahead and do it anyway. You know what happened eventually? People started pouring in with appreciation, love and approval.  

People who are givers of appreciation and love, we call them alive and fearless. Truly alive and living a life they love.  Truly fearless, going ahead and doing what they want to do,  not caring about what people think of them.

I hope this video serves you in making you move forward.  Stay alive, stay fearless.  Dream big stay strong and keep appreciating, yourself and others.